Daily Gratitude Journal: Day 1

I don’t know what is going on, but I have really been struggling the last few days. Just a few short weeks ago, I was feeling great and now I feel like a pile of human garbage. Insidious thoughts of hitting the bottle are at the periphery of my mind.

So, I’ve got to get back to basics. I am going to start by doing quick daily affirmations and gratitude journaling from now until…I feel better…or maybe at least until my Sober Anniversary October 25.

Affirmation:

Everything you want to be is already there.

For me its important to know that nothing is impossible. Some days, like today, I don’t feel confident or capable, but I have to remember that this is temporary and I don’t have to resign myself to feeling this way forever. I need to feel my feelings and move on- no more over analyzing and obsessing.

Gratitude:

Today, I am grateful for me. I am who I am. I am not perfect- even though I try too hard to be- but I am me. I may not mean that much to everybody, but for a few people- like my family- who love me like crazy- I mean a whole hell of a lot. To them- I am perfect, just the way I am.

I will try harder to see myself the way these precious few see me- the way my middle daughter sees me. That girl loves me like crazy- she’s a daddy’s girl- in her eyes I can do no wrong. Her love is fierce and unconditional. I want to love myself a little bit more like the way she loves me- unafraid, unapologetic. I am me because of this love.

Yeah, I have work to do on myself. But its not impossible and I will get there, but today- I am grateful to be me.

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